stains all over my Soul

Some fragile tenuous balance .
Yes, i feel a harrowing transit.
Almost more than i am able to keep upright .

i can not maintain if I am seething
this Truth, be not deceived
it is the quiet which brings
our ascendence
willingness to be
careful,
and strong

bluster equals death in some
instances
this is true
this is all truth
it is the quiet that is persevering
shhhhhh
may you be
very strong
shhhhh
for lo then you shall be very wise

KNOW
often such understanding comes only after
Succumbation to chaos
ascending
leaves scars, often Physical
surely stains all over my
Soul

 

 

 

 

ART : Abbi Al-Arouri 

https://www.instagram.com/abbi.aaa/?hl=en

 

keep the nightlight on

unfailingly

come then, still or flailing
to this day, availing
the wonders here, they never cease
in this day find soul release
for know you do return to night
your Night, beloved dark
thus to day go willingly
for it leads to night unfailingly
a promise Earth does keep
the shadows calling, sweet

 

verse with curated imagery

http://www.fb.com/ourdarkplace

 

complete bliss

stirring in the womb
happening, quickening
we’ll be there yet, oh, earth of me
we Shall share some friction
vibe of life here, there : dormancy ascends
strong everywhere
very deep in the dark
warm space
most attached to my soul’s own grace
where did this
idea of
complete bliss originate ?
surely it was within the heart of
one who wrote.

it’s a shame we’re such a human race
what makes us glorious also
makes us dangerous, somehow
there is such an
Edge to a brilliant human and surely
we wish to move
closer there
not all at once
always poignantly, silly things
we miss the point so oft it seems yet
do our basic good
and all does flow as it
should

plea, prayer or curse

whispering
morning keep the skies sullen
for me
no glare can I conceive
that would me give the same sweet peace
as summer dense in canopy : tree
of century, arms to raise
and give me shadow
in summer days am I to beg to raise, yet i do .  as surge of sea toward sun. warmth bids me rise  and I know no other way I am of earth & sea, physics do me command : though I vibrate over land, I cannot linger .  i am a membrane pressed on lip a many creased and opaque finger.   holding impulse and exhalation … cease absorb and do not expostulate  to not speak is sane, to give yourself to nonverbal cues. these are understood across any universe.  plea, prayer or curse, entreating.  some smart ass begs a beating > but some words are soul and they’re happening.  they’re not pushing anyone, they ask nothing > they are happening.  you can happen too.

and I am that Safe Space

tis wise instinct – to be still in the night : i was
that child who hovered
outside the house
and listened until it was safe to go back inside
the sounds of the house 
chaotic in
fits and starts
Moro Reflex
over and over
startled by crashing
screams snap of leather
and the unmistakable vibration
of slammed doors
of a body
falling to the floor

why would I ever fear the night
the darkness outside ?
it is as
Confidante
and Benefactor
Haven Haven Have No Fear No Fear

 

yes I am proud that I took that hovering in the night, turned it into a strength. a night shift strong woman. nurse. never back down from threat. but disappearing is also magic. smarter than the chaos. i literally transported myself to a physically safer space. and I am that Safe Space. I carry it everywhere.

 

 

bernard chevalier photographe

” decouvert”

Ground Round Balloons

have no friends
they always lie
have no pets
they always die
sing no songs you
lose the tune
it flies away like
Ground Round Balloons

have no clothes which are not black
have no love
for it bites back
have no dreams
to not come true
safe and cold
hard, hard as stone
so as not to care
if they come home
not enough of me to share with grief i Will Not Me Go There

nothing to look forward to
no plans for someone to back out
no wishes for my birthday because
no one makes a cake

besides, they’re only acting
no one Really cares
they’re going through the motions
so my angst they will not bear :they too fear to trust Me
I understand the wish
bleak of fear to feel
the hard hard fist in which i clench
which used to be
my heart before t’was irreparably rent

never taken by surprise
maintain perimeter : know
when I DID  yearn and watch
the whole day came and went
and so on, so the next
expectant becomes
dejected
fuck you all that’s worse than beating
a child  at a window
waiting

disappointment breeds
a bitterness
which mellows then to stone
Of Wonder, Hopeful I Was Once
and left on the clothesline
after dark alone
a spoon dropped behind the bed
waiting for a hand which never comes to pick it up and put in back in light again

the old dog who goes to the door each day
waiting for the girl
who went away
and she never comes my heart does clench thought even now and know
this his life in sum

tiny girl
someones party
to the side, She stands
crying, crying, facing towards the woods
because the party is so good
and soon it has to end
this is where
this dark of me
——Not Wanting
did begin

for every hope held in the heart
is batted from the hand
all joys are but fleeting
the sorrow is too great
shoulders can’t amend
when they are in a body
with intellect & madness
the maniac at four years old
she writes this – Understand

if you never hold it close
it cannot break your heart
or change or leave
weight of grief
instead, dead
in your heart

I would have No Kin

dark collective  flows and settles testing all your so-called mettle .  there is naught in mankind’s way which urges me to come and stay.   I am not of these things, I am of the night.  I would me thus disperse without gathering, no fight.   do not shine upon me light, I would not be illumined.  I would be true to depths of me where blood and fluids are proven.

spin Earth, draw my matter thus, I am to you sure kin.  I wish no others near me and I’ll say it long, again.  they are not mine, I am not theirs. we have naught in common, no.  rutting, posing, posturing. I would not me be this thing. though I resemble it in Skin.  I want no part of humans, I wish myself within

i have me procreated, as is my body made. now take away the  clubs and cars and let me drift away.  no calendar, no celebrations, I would have No Kin.  i would the dark inherit let the night-time draw me in.

night and night

Night and naught but wellness in this
darkly drifting space –  all the lines
are blurry – colors all erased –
we become just as we’re meant
a spark among the sparks, content
– this goes on – beneficent
you, eternal; me
great waves of energy
and we shall never be contained
here for such  brief time
querulous  in mortal frame

…………… 

find me then some spirit friends, behold, you too shall see
the turning and the turning, how
Rivers flow to Sea
rain does fall, tis carried
in the bellies of the Clouds
and we ourselves are rich with
scent and vapor –
soft with  sound.

……

listen now to night sounds, let them
carry you away
all things do become one in this
hallowed, sacred place
Night, and Night it shall be
we are thus  just breath and skin
no race, no face, complexities
Earth does Spin

bless this night and all nights
all shadows which conceal
and give us rest, our privacy
in dreams more is revealed

 

art : Sarachmet